Being a leader does not mean causing fear. Your dog should listen to you because it wants to, because it trusts you, not because it has to – out of fear.
Preconditions for a good leader are:
1. Genuine love for the dog – loving a dog means being aware that a dog is a dog and making effort to meet dogs needs.
2. Patience – time, time and time. In order for a dog to accept you as its leader you need time. You cannot tell a dog: "I am a leader." and expect response: "Right, you are. As you say." This can pass in human world, not in animal world.
3. Calmness – at first hand, patience and calmness may seem the same but there is difference. Calmness compliments patience and then it all becomes coherent. A dog can sense our tension: anger, fury, nervousness, passive aggressiveness; not to mention visible signs such as aggression, screaming, panicking... This is when you are out of control and that is a sign for a dog that something is out of order.
4. Consistency – not just day to day but in every moment. Even in aspects of life that seem irrelevant, we have to stick to things that we set as desirable and undesirable behaviour for the dog – indoors and outdoors. If in one situation we act in certain way and other time in the same situation or similar one we act differently, it will confuse the dog and weaken its trust in you.
5. Confidence – believe in what you do, as long as you yourself learn how it is proper to handle a dog.